The Fact That A Lot of Churches (If Not All Of Them) Have Ugly Bathrooms Is Just One Of The Things I’m Trying To Tell You Here

I think it’s about time we got rid of the ocean. Maybe we burn it off with some kind of fuel that
can burn underwater. Isn’t that a thing? Isn’t there a fuel that can not only burn underwater but
can also just eat water so that all that’s left is fire? What if all that’s left next week is a big fire?
I’m okay with that. I’m excellent with that. I’m extraordinarily pleased with that. I’m kind of
demonic about that and I’m blessed because of that. The churches are upset with me. The
churches have called for both my resignation and also at the same time for me to be resigned.
The churches have ugly bathrooms. Oh, it’s known, alright. The churches are upset with me.
Same thing with the doves: when they see me while they’re flying overhead I know they’re
cursing me out. Even if the hymns all say that doves are innocent and pure and virginal and tight
and coed and whatnot. Ask whatnot is your country doing to you but whatnot are you doing to
your country. Let’s get back to the ocean. How do we get rid of it? Can we pave it? How about
pouring a lot of sand into it. I’ll bet someone has thought of that already; I’ll bet the person
who’s thought of that already is so handsome that ugliness doesn’t mean anything around him.
Or in the locker room with him. One time I got lost in a massive locker room for hours but I was
only in there for a minute. I’m not gonna tell you where. Maybe we can get a giant packet of
Kool-Aid, like the old-school lime flavor they used to make when we were 1976. A packet of
Kool-Aid the size of the planet Venus dumped into the ocean. A whole world of obscene flavour.
Whole big tablespoonfuls of lime Kool-Aid blooping and splayshing and hooshing into the ocean
until we all feel like we just bit into a lemon romantically and naughtily. I heard there were these
dudes in Greek mythology who had a hundred hands - I bet they could help spoon all that Kool-
Aid into the ocean for us, if they could just be real for a minute. And stop asking me why I want
the ocean gone. Like you don’t know.