Eleanor Ball

Only Then

Maybe it could only have happened at the time of year 
when trees are frothed with orange 

and the body of the earth is dying. On the pier, 
we might have been chilled through our windbreakers.

The cold might have driven us inside, towards each other, two
chipped comets, cooling suns. You might have reached for my hand;

I might have reached for yours. Maybe 
if you had cracked open the earth

and slid the yolk into my palm.
Only then could I have been tricked 

into promising everything.

Every month for forty years

I peel the skin from my womb,
the body from my skin.

How much blood is this much blood? 
In the hollow of my body, a bird

is dying and rising. When this happens to men,
we call it a miracle. Join me in prayer 

to unravel the road of this poem.
I am unmooring myself. Holding my body

up to the light.

Eleanor Ball is a queer writer from Des Moines, Iowa. Her work has previously appeared in Barnstorm, DEAR Poetry, Vagabond City Lit, and other publications. She has been nominated for the Forward Prize, Best of the Net, and Best Small Fictions. Find her on Twitter @aneleanorball.